We’ve sprinkled our thanks to you throughout our telling of Bella’s story, but we think it’s time to make time for a more focused thanks–even if what we can say can’t possibly begin to say enough.
To all of you–whether you’re near to us here in Dallas, or whether you peeked in from places we’ve never been to or even heard of–we are so humbled and thankful for your innumerable displays of affection, support, and encouragement. To those who sent postcards to Bella, please know a dear friend was kind to assemble them in a sweetly arranged scrapbook. They elicit tears when we review them, but they are so very precious to us.
Jesus’ admonition near the end of His Sermon on the Mount has never been the truer for us: Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Each day has its own responsibilities, its own burdens. Grief is work. To think long-term is too much. But it’s not putting on a brave face for us to say that we have experienced that thing called “consolation” in these several days since we buried our Bella. The cold wind of sorrow has been tempered by the warmth of knowing she continues, and is more alive than she ever has been–more alive than any of us who still walk this earth. It warms us also to reflect on the many mercies attendant to her last hours. And, finally, it warms us to remember how surrounded we have been by you all. Your repeated inquiries into our condition, your kind notes of sympathy–many from you whose faces we’ve never seen or whose hands we’ve never held–your unremitting aid to our family–all these acts of lovingkindness have had the effect they were designed to have. The strength we have needed has been in large part supplied by you.
As I said at her funeral, this Christmas has been the clearest yet (of which I hope to share more later). In short, when all the impetus to engage all the trappings of the season evaporates, and you’re left to see and think of what Christmas means in its raw essence, there is a truer, purer, more enduring comfort to be had. The sentimental wistfulness you might feel at shelving all the paraphernalia–the decorations, cards, finery–now seems like such wasted emotion when what we’re meant to feel and focus upon is what His incarnation, death, and resurrection signify: there’s always reason for hope because in Him is the hope of–among many things–consolation and, as He says unequivocally, continuation in unmitigated fellowship with Him following our final breath.
Your love throughout these months, and especially in these last several weeks, has only served to heighten what we regard to be, as we’ve said, our clearest Christmas yet.
In the days to come, we’d like to share with you a few pictures of some of the short time we had with Bella. We feel that in a way you are as much her family as we are. To share a few glimpses of her seems only fitting, even if what they portray is bittersweet.
Our cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy have followed us through you all the days of her life.
Patrick, Christy, Seamus and Savannah


3 comments
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January 3, 2008 at 12:15 am
Robin Eggen
You continue to be on my heart and in my prayers.
-Robin from June’s bible study
January 5, 2008 at 9:38 pm
James Lunday
Dearest Christy and Patrick,
Your whole family are in my thoughts and prayers daily. As much as my heart hurts for each one, I wish I could take the pain away. I ask that God take the pain away during this time and replace it with HIS blessings. Again each one are in my prayers.
James Lunday
July 22, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Richard Goodrich
Dear Laffertys,
I have NOT written in a while. How could I encourage you in your grief? I remember lamenting to my father-in-law how much I missed my own dad who died in 1982 when I was 30. He encouraged me in this… He (now gone himself) told me he would be concerned for me if I did NOT miss my dad the rest of my life – that he certainly missed his father….
Just want to tell you what you already know… Don’t let anyone tell you how long to grieve… Praise God that Christ Jesus has ultimately defeated this enemy!
I am so encouraged by how you have involved your other children – just from the pictures – in the process of life and death and I am personally so blessed by your words on your blog.
May God speak peace in your lives and through you. I still remember to pray sometimes for your adoption search – All in His perfect timing!
God Bless and Keep You!
Richard Goodrich